


Shield My Heart

by snowkind



Series: Can You Hear Me? [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Spoilers, Imagination, M/M, Masturbation, Stony - Freeform, Why do I do this to myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-07 07:25:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6793414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowkind/pseuds/snowkind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“That shield doesn’t belong to you.” Tony rasped and attempted to roll onto his side. His suit whirred sluggishly when he turned and looked up at fading silhouette of his friend.<br/>His <i>friend</i>.</p><p>He laughed bitterly to himself as he stood alone in the compound. </p><p>            “You don’t deserve it.” He spat the words and pressed his lips together into a tight line.<br/>Anger.</p><p>            “My father…” Tony began and bit down on his lip.<br/>Frustration.</p><p>Steve turned around for half a second with Bucky draped around his shoulder.<br/>It made his blood boil and his vision blur.</p><p>            “My father made that shield!” The words fell from his lips and dropped onto the concrete ground with a heavy clunk, mimicking the sound of the shield when it plummeted to the earth.<br/>When Tony’s heart plunged and his breath faltered. </p><p>He grit his teeth and watched the blurred figures stumble out of sight.<br/><i>Desperation</i>. </p><p>Another sardonic chuckle fell forward and he brought the glass to his lips.<br/>The ice sharply clinked against the side of the cup.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shield My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Yo yo yo! Thanks for tuning in to read this fic! So basic background is that I watched Civil War and I CRY AND MY HEART CANNOT HANDLE IT. **I LOVE IT SO MUCH.** Ahem, but anyways this takes place after Cap has just relinquished his shield and before he sends Tony the cell phone. 
> 
> The phenomenal [artwork](http://petite-madame.tumblr.com/post/143999339946/see-you-soon-captain-2016-my-first-artwork) featured in the story is by lovely [Petite Madame](http://petite-madame.tumblr.com/). I highly recommend checking out the other works!!!  
> Please do NOT repost the artwork!
> 
> This is just a very short one-shot because one-shots seem to be the only thing I can actually finish... Oops!  
> I hope you enjoy reading!
> 
> I don't own any of the characters unless stated otherwise.
> 
> Love,
> 
> May ( ˘ ³ ˘ )♥
> 
> P.S. The story is most likely embellished with various spelling errors and grammar issues... I tend to overlook a few things while writing and even re-reading! If you happen to spot any problems, please let me know so I may fix it! Thank you!

Every time he looked at the shield a ringing would sound in his head. Or maybe it wasn’t in his head. Maybe the shield was actually still humming with energy when Rogers had used it to deflect his blast. His last attempt to get his feelings through.  
Deflected.  
Rejected.  
Left alone.

His eyes began to drift to the scratch marks left on the surface of the shield.  
With his free hand, he traced the jagged grooves left in the metal before fully pressing his palm against it. He could feel the vibrations that lingered in the shield. The steady ringing that went in sync with his heart.  
And then the rhythm broke and Tony instantly retracted his hand as if he had touched something hot. He looked curiously down at his hand and was surprised to see that it did not have scars as if he had just been severely burned. No, the scars of a burn marred his heart instead.

 

He dropped his arm to the side and brought the glass back up to his mouth.  
He stopped before the drink could even touch his lips.  
A burning sensation burrowed into his sinuses. He scrunched his nose and tore himself away from the shield. Stumbling to his bed, Tony set the glass down on the bedside table. His stomach lurched and he unceremoniously fell onto the mattress.  
When tears began to sting his eyes he reprimanded himself for acting and feeling so foolish.  
When sobs broke from his throat and pounded in his chest he hated himself for caring so much.  
It was unbelievably uncharacteristic of him, but at this point **everything** was uncharacteristic of him.

Since when did Tony Stark allow himself to wallow in _despair_ and cut himself off from everyone?

Since when did Tony Stark feel _jealousy_ over someone he thought he disliked from the very start?

Since when… Since when did Tony Stark admit he cared for another human being more than he cared about himself.

* * *

            "I was your friend too…”

Tony bolted up from the bed in a sweat. He groaned when a sharp pang jolted through his head and then swung his legs over the side of the bed. He brushed away the hair that had matted itself to his forehead and peered at the clock on his table: it was almost 4 in the morning.

Feeling almost too warm and slightly uncomfortable, he discarded his shirt and slipped out of his jeans. He left the crumpled pile of clothes on the floor before crawling back into his bed. The slight indentation of the mattress where he had lain still harbored warmth when he curled back into the spot. He closed his eyes and focused on the warmth.

            “Tony.”

His eyes snapped open and he lifted his head a bit. It was Rogers’ voice.  
His mouth suddenly felt incredibly dry.  
He paused a moment, staring into the undulating depths of darkness, and then slowly placed his head back down on the pillow.

            “Tony.”

This time he sat up and stared wide-eyed into nothingness.  
His breath had quickened involuntarily.  
He parted his cracked lips, found that no words seemed to form on this tongue, and then closed his mouth.  
His eyes drifted over to where he had placed the shield. Even through the darkness he could see the mocking glint of it. Could hear the dismal humming of the metal.  
He heaved a sigh and moved to the edge of the bed. His eyelids drooped to a close.

            “Tony.” This time he could feel a brush of air against his chest.

He shivered and slightly opened his eyes. He thought he could see someone standing in front of him. A dizzying haze. A familiar scent.  
Another movement against his thigh awakened his senses. Tony looked down and saw the bulge in his boxers. He could feel his cock throbbing against his thigh, aching for release.  
His hands began to move on their own accord and he shimmied out of the last piece of clothing that donned his broken body. He could feel an intense heat emanate from his cock and the moment he wrapped his fingers around it a low groan spilled from his lips. He closed his eyes again and began to lazily pump his hand up and along his entire shaft.

His mind swirled in his head and he couldn’t help but think about the most recent days. He imagined the grim expressions that painted everyone’s faces. _The_ face that carried exhaustion and pain but still kept on shining. The pent up frustration that pooled behind everyone’s eyes. _The_ blue eyes that reflected the world more beautiful than it should be. The tight frowns that lined everyone’s lips. _The_ lips that always seemed red and drove him to the edge.

He swiped his thumb over the head of his cock and elicited another deeper, longer groan. His breath grew shallow and his hand picked up speed.

He imagined Rogers with his strong jaw rigidly set and his eyebrows furrowed together when they talked about the accord for the last time.  
He imagined Rogers and the hard glare embezzled in his eyes when they faced one another as enemies.  
He imagined Rogers bringing him to the ground, hailing punch after punch with tightly balled up fists.  
He imagined— A drop of water landed on his bare skin. And then another fell. Then another.

Tony opened his eyes and let out a breath of air he didn’t even know he was holding. He drew in a quick breath and found himself in an odd state of blurred lust and a suffocating sadness.

            “It’s okay, Tony.”

A melodious voice poured into his head and he sobbed. All of a sudden he imagined Rogers embracing him tightly, murmuring in his ear that everything was going to be okay. That everything **was** fine.  
His hand continued to stroke his cock, except now it was not his hand anymore but the strong, calloused grip of his friend. His friend?

            “It’s okay, Tony.” The voice repeated again and enveloped his mind in an intoxicating warmth.

He relaxed his shoulders and tilted his head back, the last tear just barely clinging on to his cheek.  
He moaned when his fingers, Rogers’ fingers, teasingly scraped the underside of his cock.  
He shuddered when his hand, Rogers’ hand, kneaded his cock in his palm with a peculiar mixture of gentleness and roughness.  
He bucked up when he ran his thumb over the slit of the head and continued to rub in a tantalizing circle.

            “Rogers…” Tony let out a breathy gasp and felt his stomach contract.

He was dripping pre-cum and used the slipperiness to his advantage, dragging his fingers down his shaft and then pulling up sharply with ease. He bucked into his hand again, hoping to ease the aching sensation his cock felt, hoping for the right amount of friction between his slicked hand to send him over the edge like how Rogers’ red lips constantly teased him and tempted him to just claim them as his own. He wanted to feel those lips press against his own and then move to his jaw. The light coolness of his tongue’s saliva on his throat and ginger biting on his collarbone. The gentle nibbling trailing all the down his chest until those perfect, cherry lips formed a perfect ‘O’ around the tip of his cock.

Tony heaved another groan, thick with lust, and bit down on his lower lip in a short whine.

The methodic bobbing of the blond, his mouth sucking and tongue eagerly licking up everything.  
The tender kisses he would place along the underside of his shaft before resting his lips once more on the tip. His tongue tracing the slit on his head and the vibrations from his throat when he groaned traveling through his mouth into his throbbing cock.

Tony whined again and he parted his eyes open. His breath came out in shallow huffs and he knew he was almost there. Though a pain, he momentarily slowed down his movements and clumsily reached over to the bedside table in hopes of finding the bottle of lube he kept stored. A crash broke everything.

His eyes snapped wide open and he looked at the ground. Shards of glass from the drink he had left earlier were scattered all along the floor. He immediately slipped onto the ground, desperately trying to pick up all the pieces. All the broken pieces.  
A wave of guilt washed over him. He shivered in cold sweat and looked up at the shield. His vision went out of focus and he looked back at the broken shards. His hands were bleeding. His body shaking.

Since when did Tony Stark admit he cared for another human being more than he cared about himself.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for sticking around and for reading this short story to the end!  
> It really means a lot to me when you leave a comment or give this work a kudos, but it really means a lot more to me considering the fact that you've even read one of my works!  
> I am so grateful to have such kind supporters, and I'd just like to thank you all for also bearing with any potential discrepancy in characterization of the various characters I have made!
> 
> Thank you for sticking around and I hope you have a phenomenal remainder of the day!
> 
> P.S. If you have any requests/would like to read about a certain event or AU feel free to leave a comment or message me on my [Tumblr](http://solotrooper.tumblr.com)!


End file.
